"Gotta start somewhere"

 If you're never gonna go, it's never gonna grow. I could sit in my chair all day long thinking about what to do or I could just do it. I could reason how I could make it better or I could just write it and learn. What is better to never do it at all or to do it and learn what I could do differently from the last time? What is it that I desire? What does my heart gravitate toward? It will always be there..nagging, pushing, pulling into it is in view and created and purposed it will be that pestering sister that never lets up, until the day I die, whining and creating tension in every area of my life, like birthing pains squeezing the very desire right out of me until it's done. It will not relent until it's won. Keep trying, keep running, like Jonah will swallow you whole then spit you out on shore where you're supposed to be. 

Why?

 Why are so many humans going to a restaurant, cafe, shop to do their work rather than stay home? Well, for me, I believe the biggest reason is distractions. People who work from home want to separate and distinguish being home versus a working environment. I believe some people see the dishes that need to be cleaned or put away, some have animals that maybe they would rather pet all day or who would sit on their keyboard begging for attention, or for some avoid looking at that shelf they need to built this weekend. Either way, these people know their best case in getting their work done is to leave the house. It could also be the knowledge that they just can't make "that cup of coffee" at home. Or another reason could be the desire to be around people, and not be so isolated while having to do online tasks  staring at a screen for eight hours. For others, perhaps the idea of someone serving them. Either way, any time I have encountered one of these very focused individuals, nothing can divert their attention.  I feel some bring their laptops to work at a station in town versus staying home with the idea of a work environment, not so isolated, knowing that good cup of something is waiting for them there, perhaps the same flow of people in and out, they feel like they begin to know these people as a work environment provides. The setting and atmosphere of perhaps lesser distractions than their homes, and finally the ongoing ability to purchase goodies while not having to stop to make lunch, snacks, or drinks; unlimited purchasing power.

Another query I have is regarding why people eat out in public anyway? For instance why do large or small numbers of people gather in town at a restaurant to have personal conversations in public? Why not invite the people who you share a meal with over to your house? Hospitality is not gone. Neither do we have a lack of social people, but is it an American cultural thing or a personal, I-don't-want-to-clean-up after mentality or is it too intimate to invite someone to your home? I don't think that the majority of people I see at shops, restaurants, or cafes are so messy that they cannot have people over to their homes. Especially for those with children...Isn't it strange that they don't meet at someone's house where the kids can socialize in an area they are comfortable rather than being told, "No! Quiet! Walk! No Running!" Why are we doing this to our kids anyway? Is it because we are scared what other people will think or say? Is it because we are trying to be one step ahead making sure they don't tell our kids first? Is it fear based? Or, have we been that mentally conditioned to sit straight, walk tall, and do no other except what the man says to do? 

Stay on Track.

 I used to think that GenX was riddled with ignorance for watching the "news", but for the past week of waking up has taught me that I as well have been doing the same nonsensical thing by participating in the fear-mongering of my generation, YouTube. What was once a place for nice videos has become an information hamlet of disaster ridden plots to distract the mind from pure and true reason that would have me accomplish my own purposes. What is it that each of us should be doing instead of watching? What is our peer position that causes us to further the life within us. The very breath from which we come? The innate desires of our selves that bring vision, future, and hope? How do we start? By just doing what we do best. What comes naturally and never allowing someone else to evade our destiny with words of curses or slander, by not being derailed by misfortune, callousness, or misdirection. By staying true to the purpose and not getting distracted, and if we do, starting where we are and keeping the focus. "Stay on track, never look back..." words from VBS song. 

Temporal or Eternal?

 Where are you putting your time? "Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise. Why be self- destructive?" Ecclesiastes 7:16 -International Standard Version. 

Went for a walk today at the mall. I went with the intention of praying for someone. When I got there I saw a couple. I believe it was a mom and son. I would have liked to talk to them, but I chickened out. I decided I will wait until they go back around. Well, by the time I saw them again they were walking out. Timing is so crucial. I also had another opportunity later  in a different situation to hold my tongue and NOT say something, but rather than waiting I spit it out not knowing if I should have said what I said in a different circumstance. Time will play out and I will later tell you if the second decision was best, but I realize they were both risks. One not saying something without knowing the outcome and the other saying something and wondering if I should have waited. The risk should be worth going for regardless of defeat or success, because from what I've been told failure breeds success. We can always grow. We can always learn and we will always know what NOT to do for the next time as long as we reflect on our past mistakes. We remain healthy as long as we don't dwell there, but  rather reflect and decide what could have been done differently. We only have so much time on this earth. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. So, make the most of it while it is yet today!

Will I only?

My heart wants to perform the things I have been amiss to overcome. My heart stays hard when persons deflect their intentions towards me. I reveal my quality when I aim my hardness inwardly. I feel not so stout when I learn the phrases given without a doubt. I harness energy perfectly. Filtering silently, recklessly, endangering the rhythm of eternity. Forever watching as I breathe. Perfectly renounce the blasphemy. Intelligently, I don't go; reminding merrily, something for me in relevance. Don't go chasing water-bends, where you will chase and lend. Relish and mend, fold forth to this end. Silent electric breathing in again. Holding your only worthy entrapment by the feet as a snare, so don't go there. Worthlessly trying to unbend and fend for the tireless end. Eternity waits wrecklessly. Send my heart home before it's spent. Hoping my only time forth is a wireless friend.